A Redefinition of Adulthood

I usually consider myself to be responsible with money, but sometimes my own childish desires get the best of me. I suppose I am learning that I should not step foot in a toy store. Or the Disney Store. Or go on eBay. Or Amazon. Or the internet in general. Actually, maybe I need to hire Britney Spears' dad to control my finances and sanity; I think that worked well for her.

Here's what happens: I'm usually minding my own business admiring the wonders of first world capitalism when along comes some incredible object that I must possess at any price (okay, a reasonable price. Usually). So far such starry-eyed purchases have included:

Kinder Surprises

And an obscene number of them. Luckily I can justify this under the pretence of liking the chocolate; little do my fellow adults know that I am slowly "collecting them all."

My Brandon Walsh Doll

Yes, it's a Barbie Jason Priestley, and he's wonderful. This was more of me expressing my love for Beverly Hills 90210; I was close to buying the entire cast and Peach Pit Playset, but that would have just been ridiculous.

Squishy Ariel Figurines?

I forget what these are officially called; all kids' toys these days seem to have odd names including multiple 'Z's. 

But they were just too squishy and cute and choking-hazard-y to pass up.

Princess Minnie

This one is justified in that it was a souvenir from my first and only trip to Disney World.

Nimbus the Owl (or Snowy or Spells or whatever its official name is. I don't know)

I got this guy on a trip to the Zoo, and I'd been eyeing him for weeks beforehand, so it was an informed purchase.

Snow Leopard Cub

Do you know how hard it is to find a good snow leopard stuffed animal? Answer: Very hard. It's my favourite animal so when I found it I had to get it. I named her Himalaya because cute, right?!

My Little Pony Rarity Figurine

Again, I'm not just buying random stuff; I usually just buy my favourite of comically childish things. Rarity, for example, is my favourite character on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Not that I watch the show or anything.

SULLEY!!!

I went to the new Disney Store in town yesterday to check it out, and of course I had to take this guy home. He's so adorable, I can't handle it. Oozma Kappa Fraternity for the win!

MU Water Bottle

I just can't wait to take this bad boy to the gym. 

It totally beats out my U of A water bottle anytime.

Overall, I think this is pretty normal behaviour. There is nothing wrong with being in touch with your inner child! On second thought, that sounds a little wrong...

I can justify anything these days under the umbrella statement of "I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions!" It's true, isn't it? Just because adults are supposed to spend their money on pipeline stocks and Canadian Living Magazine subscriptions doesn't mean I have to. Or maybe I'll just hold out until I have kids and then I can buy them everything I secretly want and pretend I'm getting it for them, like in the Shopaholic books when Becky uses her toddler's allowance to purchase fancy pony toys. Having kids is totally like having a Toys R Us line of credit! A foolproof plan if I do say so myself.

IMAGE SOURCES

Minnie: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Disney-Minnie-Mouse-Princess-Plush-Doll-Toy-Theme-Park-Disneyland-/130620698023?clk_rvr_id=501421812484

Spells: Ty.com

Snow Leopard: WildRepublic.com

Sulley and Water Bottle: DisneyStore.com

365 Letters

On second thought, my hand's already cramped from all the notes I've been taking (it happens when you're doing a four-month-long course in the span of three weeks). How about 365 blog posts instead?

Being at university while all of your friends are back at home for the summer is lonely enough. What makes matters even worse is that Tawna, my best friend from high school, is in Italy for the entire time that I'm in summer school. I know that I should be mature and simply wait for her to come back to the Great White North to tell her tales of my depressingly solitary life, but I'm not exactly the most civilized person.

Me and Tawna at Starbucks.

 (image: anime-ray.deviantart.com)

The thing about my friendship with Tawna is that I tell her everything. And you may be thinking, "Well, that's only natural for best friends," and I would agree. However, I think the general definition of "everything" and my definition are two entirely different things. I tell her every single thought that pops into my brain, unfortunately enough for her:

...I really need to get a life.

Well, 365 letters, 365 blog posts, or 365 text messages... the love is the same. 
♥♥♥

Spring Semester = Summer Love?

I read somewhere that "productive procrastination" is a good thing. You know, like cleaning your room so you don't have to start your homework? I'll just make the assumption that anything I do is productive.

Making a snack? Productive.
Colour-coding cue cards? Productive.
Writing a blog post? Absolutely productive.
Googling Carrie Underwood's marital status?
Well, you get the point.

Welcome to my life. Or at least, my life at the moment, which is characteristically defined by the fact that I am taking summer school this year. Usually, of course, my life is glamorous and spectacular, as is that of any social butterfly. During the school year I talk to at least five people a day, some of whom are occasionally not Tim Hortons employees. I know, it's rather A-list.

If I was Leighton Meester I would definitely be Blair Waldorf and not psychopathic Rebecca from The Roommate. God, her hair was so stringy.

Although come to think of it, Blair Waldorf did have a fair amount of social problems... well, her hair was nice, at least.

I would just like to point out that the extent to which my social life is crumbling is not my fault; spring term is a rough time. I think there's approximately 10 people attending this university right now, which makes my friends options kind of limited. Luckily, the last thing I need right now is friends. School is my priority. I have to keep telling myself that, or I fear I'll collapse into a binge-eating, Community-watching nonentity of a human being. Actually, that doesn't sound too bad at all...

Speaking of friends and such, I was recently reminded that the top place to find a significant other is in university, since it is the only time in life when you will be surrounded by thousands of young, intelligent and single people just waiting to be snapped up and wed. Basically, if you're past the college days, or if you never had them in the first place, you're guaranteed to live a life of romantic solitude. It's just the statistics.

I have just a few comments on this, the first being the fact that I am more awkward than Kristen Stewart tripping on the stage at the Oscars (if this hasn't happened yet, it's only a matter of time. Although that would probably mean that Kristen Steward is winning an Oscar, in which case I retract my example). I wasn't planning on meeting anyone ever anyway, so this newfound information is rather irrelevant.

Yay! Forever alone time!

Besides, romance is about the last thing on my mind right now. I barely have time to shower. How the hell am I supposed to have time for that crap? I think I'll just marry biochemistry. It will be an abusive, oppressive relationship, but at least I won't have to shave my legs.

Oh, and also, I have not met a single guy thus far worthy of even my platonic attention. I think whoever came up with the conclusion of this college love study was neglectful of the fact that many of those "intelligent college guys" are 18 year old douchebags. With this in mind, husband-hunt at your own risk.

Nevertheless, I promised that I'd keep my eye out for the love of my life, even if that means occasionally looking up from my textbooks. So, U of A boys, take a number and form a line. I'll be here all summer.

There can only be one U of A

Following an entire academic year void of reading and writing literature for fun (Gone with the Wind was the only novel I read, two thirds of which was frantically accomplished during spring break), I'm almost afraid that I don't know how to write anymore.

It took me fifteen minutes to write the sentence you just read. It's a pandemic. 

Well, I suppose once I start it up again, I will become so fantastically amazing that I will be able to write stellar blog entries whilst wasted off Jagermeister at a random frat party on a Tuesday night (this is college, after all).

Side note: Licorice-flavoured alcohol does not impress me. I'd like to see some mashed-potato-flavoured whisky. Then we'll talk.

Side side note: I know this is scientifically possible. I took organic chemsitry.

But, until such skills are developed, I suppose I will start by discussing a topic that has bothered me for quite some days now, and that is American colleges and the fact that they all have identical names.

I mean, not completely identical, of course. That would just be anarchy. "Oh, you went to Princeton, I see?" Meanwhile, it was a community college specializing in Narwhal Whispering run by Russian asylum escapees with a campus comprised of an undersized igloo on Baffin Island. But they'll never know.

Off that extreme digression, I come to you with a couple of troubling and real examples. I recently learned that Arizona State University is, shockingly (and not in a sarcastic way), not the same thing as the University of Arizona. And according to randoms on CollegeConfidential.com, the two schools differ quite significantly in prestige, so you can't just use them interchangeably. My question is, why?

I'm sorry, but that's like having the University of Alberta (U of A's unite!) and changing the University of Calgary's name to Alberta Provincial University (Canadians get me). Seems stupid now, right? Hopefully it does.

The only thing more confusing than this is the existence of California University in Pennsylvania. I understand that it is located in the city of California, Pennsylvania, but that just further directs me to the fact that someone named a city California. Sure, it probably came before the state (Western expansion and all that, I'm too lazy to actually research it), but still. Seems like unnecessary laziness to me. 

I suppose my main point is, perhaps the US should have fewer universities. Or perhaps they should start using a thesaurus. Was University of Phoenix really out of the question, ASU? Oh, wait, that's already a school as well.