(Approximately) 19 Favourite Compliments

I have absolutely nothing to show for the past week and a half, but isn't that what summer's all about? It takes me back to the good old days (aka middle school) when summer was two solid months of sleeping in and going to the mall; none of this making-tuition-money and preparing-for-school bullshit. Semi-adult life sucks. At least full-fledged adults can spend their money on stuff they actually want instead of textbooks and dormitory damage charges.

IT'S LITTLE MERMAID NAIL POLISH. SO. BEAUTIFUL. 

I'm pretty sure bills and car insurance and taxes are just urban myths told to scare kids into not enjoying their childhood. Well, it's not going to work on me!

My friend Tawa got me a Flynn Rider doll for my 19th birthday (from Tangled AKA The Best Disney Film Ever Besides Monsters University). It's not like I roleplay with him or anything (*cough*), although I am pretty excited for him to meet my Brandon Walsh doll. I'm sure they'll be best friends/lovers forever.

Anyway, since I have recently turned nineteen years of age and can now drink legally in every province/territory in Canada (which I believe is cause for celebration), I wanted to list some of the best compliments I've received from my friends, family and random-ass strangers:

1. "Your nails look so good. Are they fake?"

No, these are not my nails, although I wish they were (chalkboardnails.com). I hacked off my nails in a fit of mania last week because half of them were breaking off, so they are no longer long and beautiful and Lana Del Rey-esque. 

They will be one day soon! I am in the midst of repairing them and readying them to be the fierce talons that are thus far but a hazy, sultry, tattooed, auburn dream. 

Before they broke, many people were asking me if my nails were fake, to which I gleefully responded, "They're REAL! Aren't they fabulous?" and to which everyone would say, "They're actually really creepy." Well, that's The Dream.

2. "You have perfect eyebrows."

Eyebrows are a tricky thing, as Demi Lovato knows. It's a very delicate balance, most of which people who have discovered tweezers struggle with horrifically. Hence, when people compliment me on my own, which are a carefully constructed face-framer resulting from two years living in constant fear of over-plucking or filling them in unnaturally, I think I've found my eyebrow sweet spot, as it were.

I mean, they're not terrible. They vary from day to day. Lana is, as per usual, the golden standard.

3. "You know that episode of How I Met Your Mother when Robin is trying to take a bad picture of Barney, but Barney looks good in every single photo no matter what? That's like you. You just have the perfect smile every time."

Pretty much. 

4. "Are you wearing fake eyelashes?"

By now you should have inferred that if anything about you is thought to be fake, you are at the pinnacle of beauty. Honestly, can you think of any higher compliment than looking too good to be true? Fakeness is a virtue, and faux-fakeness is godlike. 

Courtney Stodden is something of a role model to me.

5. "You're surprisingly smart"/

"You're surprisingly dumb"

This one really depends on what context you initially meet me in. If it's an academic context, then you may think me to be mature, sophisticated, insightful and even maybe intimidating. If you meet me in a social situation, then you'll most likely assume that I am the most air-headed person on the planet. Take for example, yesterday when I was plugging an electric pump into the socket of the car. I put the end where the air comes out into the socket, and the electric plug end into the air plug of the mattress. I didn't notice anything was wrong until my dad laughed at me. I just blame it on the fact that I am above such menial cognitive function. Kind of like when I got every question on my high school physics test right, except for the first one where I incorrectly manipulated v=d/t.

But I digress.

6. "Your shoulder dimples are so cute."

You can always fake it with piercings? *shudder*

I didn't even notice these until I was like 16. I just thought everyone had them. Apparently not.

7. "You have the best makeup collection ever."

I really don't, though. My collection is about 1/4 of the size of this one (which I found a picture of on tumblr and cannot find the owner to, so sorry, please don't sue me). I guess it's just because I have a lot of nice eyeshadow? It all just kind of appeared one day, so I can't take much credit for it. I'm too lazy for eyeshadow now anyway.

Compliments are pretty weird, if you think about it. Complimenting someone on a facial feature is kind of stupid because it's not really any of their own doing; you should really be complimenting their genetics. Complimenting someone on something they own could either reference their taste or style, which I suppose is admirable, or just how much money they have. Complimenting someone on a skill or talent or job-well-done is probably the most justified, in my opinion. At least that can't be bought or handed to you by your parent's chromosomes.

So maybe this wasn't 19 compliments, because I couldn't think of 19 nice things people have said to me. At least the ones I have received reinforced my boundless vanity! I should probably do a sequel post about the worst compliments I've received (like when a friend told me my hair reminded her of Blake Lively. I was going for Ke$ha, but fine. That's fine). I feel like that would be a thousand times more entertaining.

To make the finale (fee-nal-aaaayyyy) of this post more exciting, here are some catlike representations of me in various life situations:

Me when I run into my crush and try to act cool

Me stepping outside on a winter morning and underestimating the snowfall

Me on the first run at a ski hill

Me showing affection to my friends

Me trying to understand quantum physics

Me when I smell bacon

Me at the Disney Store

...I think that's enough for now.

A Redefinition of Adulthood

I usually consider myself to be responsible with money, but sometimes my own childish desires get the best of me. I suppose I am learning that I should not step foot in a toy store. Or the Disney Store. Or go on eBay. Or Amazon. Or the internet in general. Actually, maybe I need to hire Britney Spears' dad to control my finances and sanity; I think that worked well for her.

Here's what happens: I'm usually minding my own business admiring the wonders of first world capitalism when along comes some incredible object that I must possess at any price (okay, a reasonable price. Usually). So far such starry-eyed purchases have included:

Kinder Surprises

And an obscene number of them. Luckily I can justify this under the pretence of liking the chocolate; little do my fellow adults know that I am slowly "collecting them all."

My Brandon Walsh Doll

Yes, it's a Barbie Jason Priestley, and he's wonderful. This was more of me expressing my love for Beverly Hills 90210; I was close to buying the entire cast and Peach Pit Playset, but that would have just been ridiculous.

Squishy Ariel Figurines?

I forget what these are officially called; all kids' toys these days seem to have odd names including multiple 'Z's. 

But they were just too squishy and cute and choking-hazard-y to pass up.

Princess Minnie

This one is justified in that it was a souvenir from my first and only trip to Disney World.

Nimbus the Owl (or Snowy or Spells or whatever its official name is. I don't know)

I got this guy on a trip to the Zoo, and I'd been eyeing him for weeks beforehand, so it was an informed purchase.

Snow Leopard Cub

Do you know how hard it is to find a good snow leopard stuffed animal? Answer: Very hard. It's my favourite animal so when I found it I had to get it. I named her Himalaya because cute, right?!

My Little Pony Rarity Figurine

Again, I'm not just buying random stuff; I usually just buy my favourite of comically childish things. Rarity, for example, is my favourite character on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Not that I watch the show or anything.

SULLEY!!!

I went to the new Disney Store in town yesterday to check it out, and of course I had to take this guy home. He's so adorable, I can't handle it. Oozma Kappa Fraternity for the win!

MU Water Bottle

I just can't wait to take this bad boy to the gym. 

It totally beats out my U of A water bottle anytime.

Overall, I think this is pretty normal behaviour. There is nothing wrong with being in touch with your inner child! On second thought, that sounds a little wrong...

I can justify anything these days under the umbrella statement of "I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions!" It's true, isn't it? Just because adults are supposed to spend their money on pipeline stocks and Canadian Living Magazine subscriptions doesn't mean I have to. Or maybe I'll just hold out until I have kids and then I can buy them everything I secretly want and pretend I'm getting it for them, like in the Shopaholic books when Becky uses her toddler's allowance to purchase fancy pony toys. Having kids is totally like having a Toys R Us line of credit! A foolproof plan if I do say so myself.

IMAGE SOURCES

Minnie: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Disney-Minnie-Mouse-Princess-Plush-Doll-Toy-Theme-Park-Disneyland-/130620698023?clk_rvr_id=501421812484

Spells: Ty.com

Snow Leopard: WildRepublic.com

Sulley and Water Bottle: DisneyStore.com

Twerk Tag

I'm being a horrible blogger, but lately I've been a little more than occupied with sleeping and frequenting McDonalds. Whoever thought 24-hour drive thrus were a good idea was probably the same person who invented deep fried Oreos (I'm pointing at you, Calgary Stampede).

Bye, arteries. It was nice knowing you.

I also just noticed that my blog actually has quite a substantial following (and by that I mean like 13 pageviews a day), so I might as well keep giving the people what they want.

I did a focus group and everything. It's all very scientific.

As I was going through my blogs today (not the ones I write but the ones I follow, desperate for inspiration), I found the 11 Questions Tag that Elissa did over on one of my favourite nail polish blogs Ten Little Nubs. With the thought of, "Well, I don't have much to say right now so I suppose I could give some dry-ass remarks," I set off to answer the same questions she answered. Also, it's an excuse to use a fancy font, which I can never turn down.

1. What is your favourite genre of music?

I don't really know if I have a favourite genre... I guess mostly pop/alternative? Pretty much everything good falls under "alternative" these days. But as is common knowledge, Our Lady Lana Del Rey is the queen of my heart and my cochleas.

2. What is your favourite guilty pleasure television show/movie?

Gossip Girl is my guilty pleasure TV show, but sometimes it's so bad that even I can't stand it. Oh, and Teen Mom, Honey Boo Boo and Geordie Shore. And Ke$ha's reality show. Guilty pleasure movies are probably Mean Girls (classic) and 21 and Over, which I watch about 4 times a day. But hey, this is a judgement-free zone.

3. Name  your style icon(s).

Audrey Hepburn and Lana Del Rey. And Miley Cyrus. 

4. Have you ever walked in the rain?

Yes, and it is usually accompanied by me pretending to be in an overly emotional and artsy music video (think Come Clean by Hilary Duff). This also highly resembles me being angsty in a dimly lit bathroom a la Ashlee Simpson. 

5. Name the scariest thing you have ever done.

Driven standard.

6. What nail polish are you currently wearing as your manicure/pedicure?

On my nails is Keys to My Hybrid from the Metro Too Chic Sephora by OPI collection, which is a gorgeous, glossy, almost-hot-pink berry magenta colour.

A more professional swatch from beautezine.com, because I suck at lighting and picture-taking.

Here's my sad attempt. The shade changes drastically depending on the lighting, so I think the colour is usually somewhere in between these two. It looks much better in person. 

I am working on my pointy Lana Del Rey nails, though. They're coming along. 

My toes are Porcelain Party by Maybelline Colour Show, which is just a glossy white. It looked strange at first, but I've gotten used to it. 

7. What makeup brand do you have an absolute weakness for? (high end)

I love MAC makeup the best, but I hardly ever buy it. One of my most prized possessions is my MAC eyeshadow palette. 

I love you. 

Other than that, probably Too Faced or Benefit. Their stuff is so quirky.

8. Name your favourite junk food(s).

Cookie dough, ice cream, Lays Baked chips, Goldfish crackers, any chocolate, cupcakes, Dunkaroos, Oreo Cakesters, McDonald's fries, Wendy's Frostys, Pringles, Mini Oreos. Nachos, chicken wings, cake pops, Kraft Singles, Lunchables, McCain Smiles, sausage rolls, ice cream cake, cheesecake, cinnamon buns, frozen waffles. The list goes on, really.

9. Tell us your role model.

Well, I admire Lana Del Rey's style and grace and general badassery. Sophia Bush goes in there as well because she's such a passionate activist, or so I gather from Twitter. 

10. What is your dream career?

Does being Mrs. Chris Pine count as a career? If not, I suppose it would be being a successful novelist/screenwriter. Oh, and a pharmacist. =)

11. Name your celebrity crushes, male and female.

Female: Jennifer Lawrence, of course. That woman is a goddess by many definitions.

Male: Oh god, how do I narrow this down? My friend Tawa and I were planning out a potential Bachelorette show where all of our bachelors would be hot celebrity men. I suppose I'll just list the 25 I would choose to woo me, in no particular order (also, this is so not a repeat of my celebrity crushes. That was a list of 10, this is a list of 25. Obviously.):

1. Miles Teller (although there wouldn't be much competition)

2. Chad Michael Murray (for the lulz)

3. Alan Rickman (married senior citizens count, right?)

4. Ryan Reynolds

5. Chris Pine

6. Seth Rogen (for the LOLZ)

7. Jason Segel

8. Zac Efron

9. Taylor Lautner (for the lulz)

10. Jake Gyllenhaal

11. Justin Bieber (for the lulz and just to make him go on ridiculous dates with me)

12. Sterling Knight

13. David Henrie

14. James Franco (for the heroin-chic sex appeal)

15. Chace Crawford

16. Matt Lanter

17. Neil Patrick Harris (gay guys count, right?)

18. Skylar Astin (because what is Miles Teller without him?)

19. Justin Timberlake (to write me a symphony)

20. Harry Styles (for the lulz)

21. Joe Jonas (for the lulz)

22. Kevin Jonas (for the lulz)

23. Jason Priestley

24. Bradley Cooper

25. Ellen Degeneres (she can hold her own among the hot celebrity men)

Tell me that wouldn't be the greatest show ever.

I would accept these abs.

And these eyes.

And this face.

And this voice.

And this #swag.

Lana Nail Rey

Please excuse my recent lapse in internet presence; I had been frantically finishing summer school and flitting around Canada visting family. Also, thanks for showing me a good pre-4th-of-July good time, Idaho. I think I've seen enough American flags for a while.

Hmm, on second thought, maybe a couple more.

I've been growing my nails out ever since the beginning of summertime, with a fair amount of success. I feel like this blog is going to slowly turn into a nail polish blog, but I suppose that's alright. I read nail polish blogs. They're likeable. And now that I have basically infinite time on my hands (heh heh, get it?), I can do them all the time!

Soooo pretty! This is the blue from the Sephora Jasmine Collection and Queen of Everything by Sephora by OPI. It's just so glossy.

.GLOSSY.

When I repainted the following week, I didn't realize that it was pretty much the exact same colour scheme as above... It's supposed to be mint green, but it turns out as more of a Tiffany turquoise.

It matches my backpack, though!

This is Aladdin's Girl from the Jasmine collection mentioned above, and it's gorgeous, but a little too translucent for my taste. 

I believe this one's called Fit For Royalty (from Jasmine). What a perfect dark purple for summer!

And, of course, Canada Day/Calgary Stampede nails.

(See how much they've grown? I broke the middle nail on my other hand whilst camping and I only cried for a day or so.)

Hopefully the Stampede can be pulled off to some adequate degree this year, what with all of the Alberta flooding a couple weeks ago. Calgs is a tough city. We'll make it through. 

♥