IT'S LITTLE MERMAID NAIL POLISH. SO. BEAUTIFUL.
I'm pretty sure bills and car insurance and taxes are just urban myths told to scare kids into not enjoying their childhood. Well, it's not going to work on me!
My friend Tawa got me a Flynn Rider doll for my 19th birthday (from Tangled AKA The Best Disney Film Ever Besides Monsters University). It's not like I roleplay with him or anything (*cough*), although I am pretty excited for him to meet my Brandon Walsh doll. I'm sure they'll be best friends/lovers forever.
Anyway, since I have recently turned nineteen years of age and can now drink legally in every province/territory in Canada (which I believe is cause for celebration), I wanted to list some of the best compliments I've received from my friends, family and random-ass strangers:
1. "Your nails look so good. Are they fake?"
No, these are not my nails, although I wish they were (chalkboardnails.com). I hacked off my nails in a fit of mania last week because half of them were breaking off, so they are no longer long and beautiful and Lana Del Rey-esque.
They will be one day soon! I am in the midst of repairing them and readying them to be the fierce talons that are thus far but a hazy, sultry, tattooed, auburn dream.
Before they broke, many people were asking me if my nails were fake, to which I gleefully responded, "They're REAL! Aren't they fabulous?" and to which everyone would say, "They're actually really creepy." Well, that's The Dream.
2. "You have perfect eyebrows."
Eyebrows are a tricky thing, as Demi Lovato knows. It's a very delicate balance, most of which people who have discovered tweezers struggle with horrifically. Hence, when people compliment me on my own, which are a carefully constructed face-framer resulting from two years living in constant fear of over-plucking or filling them in unnaturally, I think I've found my eyebrow sweet spot, as it were.
I mean, they're not terrible. They vary from day to day. Lana is, as per usual, the golden standard.
3. "You know that episode of How I Met Your Mother when Robin is trying to take a bad picture of Barney, but Barney looks good in every single photo no matter what? That's like you. You just have the perfect smile every time."
Pretty much.
4. "Are you wearing fake eyelashes?"
By now you should have inferred that if anything about you is thought to be fake, you are at the pinnacle of beauty. Honestly, can you think of any higher compliment than looking too good to be true? Fakeness is a virtue, and faux-fakeness is godlike.
Courtney Stodden is something of a role model to me.
5. "You're surprisingly smart"/
"You're surprisingly dumb"
This one really depends on what context you initially meet me in. If it's an academic context, then you may think me to be mature, sophisticated, insightful and even maybe intimidating. If you meet me in a social situation, then you'll most likely assume that I am the most air-headed person on the planet. Take for example, yesterday when I was plugging an electric pump into the socket of the car. I put the end where the air comes out into the socket, and the electric plug end into the air plug of the mattress. I didn't notice anything was wrong until my dad laughed at me. I just blame it on the fact that I am above such menial cognitive function. Kind of like when I got every question on my high school physics test right, except for the first one where I incorrectly manipulated v=d/t.
But I digress.
6. "Your shoulder dimples are so cute."
You can always fake it with piercings? *shudder*
I didn't even notice these until I was like 16. I just thought everyone had them. Apparently not.
7. "You have the best makeup collection ever."
I really don't, though. My collection is about 1/4 of the size of this one (which I found a picture of on tumblr and cannot find the owner to, so sorry, please don't sue me). I guess it's just because I have a lot of nice eyeshadow? It all just kind of appeared one day, so I can't take much credit for it. I'm too lazy for eyeshadow now anyway.
Compliments are pretty weird, if you think about it. Complimenting someone on a facial feature is kind of stupid because it's not really any of their own doing; you should really be complimenting their genetics. Complimenting someone on something they own could either reference their taste or style, which I suppose is admirable, or just how much money they have. Complimenting someone on a skill or talent or job-well-done is probably the most justified, in my opinion. At least that can't be bought or handed to you by your parent's chromosomes.
So maybe this wasn't 19 compliments, because I couldn't think of 19 nice things people have said to me. At least the ones I have received reinforced my boundless vanity! I should probably do a sequel post about the worst compliments I've received (like when a friend told me my hair reminded her of Blake Lively. I was going for Ke$ha, but fine. That's fine). I feel like that would be a thousand times more entertaining.
To make the finale (fee-nal-aaaayyyy) of this post more exciting, here are some catlike representations of me in various life situations:
Me when I run into my crush and try to act cool
Me stepping outside on a winter morning and underestimating the snowfall
Me on the first run at a ski hill
Me showing affection to my friends
Me trying to understand quantum physics
Me when I smell bacon
...I think that's enough for now.
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